She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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