the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
