Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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