So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I would ride that face into the sunset
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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