Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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