i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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