For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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