the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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