i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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