No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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