So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
