I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
