He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
