So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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