I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
