I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
