I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
