why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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