is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
