When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
