Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
