I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
