You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
