new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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