At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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