i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
