and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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