and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
