So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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