idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
