It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
