so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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