I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
