i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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