I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
