Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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