I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
