I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
