at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
