bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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