like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
