NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
