I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
