You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
