When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
