Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
