i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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