let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
