So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
