Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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