I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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